Where is Japan?
Next to Chinatown
What do I need to bring?
Bring fork. We Japanese use chopstick and too difficult for big clumsy gaijin cannot use
What else do I need to bring?
Bring own newspaper. You cant read mine becuaese it all in Japanese.
Where is my hotel?
Gaijin part of town. You go.
How many people are in Japan?
Not so many after you drop Big Boy A-Bomb on Hiroshiama and Nagasaki all up and down our bumcracks u motherfucker.
Where can I meet a geisha?
Ask taxi driver for "gei" part of town. You go.
How can I be a terrorist?
I FUCKING KNEW IT.
What will the weather be like?
Why you want to know? Sunny day for terrorist attack?
What Japanese food should I eat?
Boiled newspaper. Japan has water. You cook.
Where can I go to pay my respects to the Japanese war dead?
7-11 frozen produce section.
Where can I get Japanese sake?
I give you free drink before you commandeer 747 and kamikaze flight of death
Where can I buy authentic Octopus Tentacle Rape grot mags?
Dial O for Octopus.
NO MORE QEUSTION.
THANK YOU WELOCOME MR GAIJIN and HELLO GOODBYE TONITE.
--Masahiro Sato (JAPAN)